. . .is not so easy.
Not because I'm obsessing about my 2ww. I'm barely on Day 5. Most people are getting their transfers at this time. The hard thing about a Day 2 transfer is you get more days of responsibility. I've been carrying around these little embies for days already and I hope I am doing right by them.
Going back to work has been the opposite of my first two days of bedrest. I didn't realize teaching is physically exhausting. Teachers are always on their feet, and are constantly talking and moving around. And to add to the chaos, tomorrow is our annual holiday show. Today I had to pick up and move chairs. The chairs were by no means heavy and I only moved two of them, but I immediately became concerned that I did something wrong. I felt fine, but my paranoid nature started kicking in. Work is so distracting, that I actually forget what might be going on inside me.
Then after work I went to the grocery store. I bought a few mildly-heavy items and proceeded to carry them upstairs to my condo. Once again, I thought, maybe I shouldn't do that.
Or maybe it doesn't matter. Think of how many fertiles don't even realize their embryo is trying to implant at that very moment and run, lift, have sex, live their blissfully ignorant lives. I am going to take it easy as much as I can- don't get me wrong. I love taking it easy and I'm not going to do anything stupid that they tell you not to do. I do however need to be able to live my life.
I always thought I'd be the kind of woman who would treat herself like a fragile china doll (and if you ask DH he'll probably say I do). I have been trying to let go of some of my control issues. I doubt the results of this IVF cycle will be determined by the movement of two plastic chairs or the carrying of two bags of groceries. I have to tell myself that at least.
I will try to take it a little more easy. After Friday it should be no problem. (I get two weeks off!). I think this post is a result of feeling guilty after reading all about Infertile Turtle's bedrest during her 2ww and Clio's nephew carrying groceries for her (lucky!). I wish I could do that, but the reality of my life says I can't.
What do you think girls?
Did anyone else go grocery shopping?
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2 months ago