Friday, December 5, 2008

Oh where, oh where have my follicles gone?

Oh where or where can they be?

No, seriously, where did they go?

I had seven just the other day. Today I'm down to four. I don't like this pattern.

The pros:
All four are about the same size (9 or 10 ish).
My estrogen rose nicely considering I only have four ( 290).
No dominant follicle (yet?).
I am still in it.

The cons:
They. . . take. . . forever. . . to. . . grow. . . (Cha-ching! There goes another $1000 on meds)
I can no longer blame my poor response on the lupron.
Everyone at the RE's office was getting news to trigger with a plentiful amount of eggs and I felt like a big loser.

I have decided to focus on the pros. I am surprisingly okay with these results. Of course I am disappointed, and I feel like my odds of actually getting pregnant this time are a long shot, but do you remember when I said I would be okay with 4 or 5 and that I just wanted a chance? Looks like I got my wish.

Thank you God for a chance.


Following in the footsteps of everyone who names their embryos, I'm going to name my follies in hopes of inspiring them and keeping them around. I shall call them the Fantastic Four.
(To a fertile person I must sound like I've lost my mind).


Okay, what is it with me and small worlds?

Oddly, I have always felt very alone at my RE's office, even though I am surrounded by people I have so much in common with. No one usually talks to each other. Online, I have this whole supportive community of "strangers," but in real life, I don't have much of a desire to share my story with these people. Weird.

Today was different. I found an old friend. A sorority sister from college. We were in the same pledge class, so we shared a lot of experiences. It took us a moment to place each other (I haven't seen her in almost 10 years). Then she just gave me the biggest hug and we sat and talked while we waited for the lab to open. This is her first round of IVF. She already has a nine year old. She got married three years ago and is experiencing male IF. I didn't get her details but it sounds like she's right on track and will have her retrieval Sunday. I'm sure I'll see her then, at my next stim check. We exchanged numbers and she wanted me to call her and let her know how things are going with me.

It made my morning a little easier.


PJ said...

I've been looking for your post!

Yay for still being in the running! My 2nd IVF attempt ended, I think, on day 5 of stims.

Ah yep, cha-ching! My meds this cycle were $2300. My RE said that it took me a while to get going, but (and I quote) "it's the end result, not the journey".

We did an antagonist protocol, with NO birth control. They used estrogen pills instead, and they call it estrogen priming. They think the birth control suppressed me too much. Maybe the Lupron is doing the same thing to you? I dunno.

This week was the first time ALL year that I actually talked with someone in the waiting room. She was another teacher, imagine that! Of course we didn't exchange phone numbers or anything. It's really good that you have that connection now.

Grow Fab Four!!!

Emily said...

Yay for the Fantastic Four! I hope one of those little follies is your miracle!

GL, GL, GL!!!

Anonymous said...

That is soo true. I have never once spoken to another person from the waiting room. I have caught myself wondering whether they were here for an u/s or a retrieval or a transfer but never had the courage to go talk. But here, in the blogging world... no problemo. Odd... isn't it?!? Something to think about.

Fantastic Four sounds cute. :) Grow follies grow!

Clio said...

Fantastic Four! what a lovely idea!
they will be there for you, perhaps with an added couple more follies. :)
It's good that you are concentrating on the pros. and how nice that you found this friend at your office. It sure makes for a warmer experience being there.

Lisa said...

I'm so glad you have four and are at least in the game! Hang in there and stay positive. You never know, you could even get a few more at retreival that aren't seen on the ultrasound. And always, remember, it only takes one! I will be praying that you get your miracle.

Lost in Space said...

You are still very much "in it to win it!!". I hope those fantastic four continue to grow and thrive.

How crazy to meet up with someone you know at the RE office!! I hope you both found a little comfort and understanding just knowing what the other is going through. Very cool!

Good luck tomorrow. Grow, follies, grow!!