Monday, November 3, 2008

Reality Check

As in, I really have to pay for all this IVF stuff.

I mean, I knew I did. I had to before. But this time, I was so focused on the nitty gritty details, like new protocols and calendars, that I kind of forgot how much this all f****** costs. Okay, I didn't really forget, but I must have put it out of my mind. At least until yesterday when I had to pull out my old meds and take inventory. I really didn't have much left. Three measly vials of Menopur and no follistm. Of course I had all the post retrieval medicine left because I never even got that far before.

I was looking at my new calendar and I noticed that they doubled my doses of stim meds from last cycle. A part of me is glad of course because I want to have more eggs than I did last time. The other part of me sat down and did the math. And the math really isn't that hard. Double the dose means double the cost. That hurts! It didn't help matters that I decided to pay all my bills on the same day. Not smart.

DH and I do okay, but the financial burden of IVF sure adds to the stress of it all. How long can a couple keep taking $15,000 hits? It weighs heavily on how far we will decide to take this whole process. I wish I could say it didn't, but it does. If it were free, I'd probably never give up until I hit menopause, but it's not, at least not under our insurance. Reality sets in and you realize you can only do so much. There are only so many times we can try.

It's not fair. Nothing about any of this is.

What I really need is one of these. . .


PJ said...

Wow! We DO have a lot in common! Some of which is unfortunate. This is a hard road. Hopefully we'll both have some luck before the end of the year, and have that too.

The meds are what kills me. Our center has this "shared risk" program which we are in. We paid $23,500 (number etched in my brain), and that covers four tries. Our two cancelled cycles aren't included because we didn't get to retrieval. That covers everything but the meds. Which, have been between 2-3 grand a cycle. Sucky!

I have TONS, I mean TONS of needles left because my dosages were so high. And now, I'm starting from scratch on the meds.

PJ said...

OK, I am not stalking you, I promise! I just read several of your older posts, including your first one.

So we did Antagonist with our 1st cycle, but we used BCP's. Lead follicles, converted to IUI. Then we did Lupron Flare and had worse results, again with BCP's. This last round, we did estrogen priming (just took estrogen pills) with antagonist, and had better luck.

They think the BCP's suppressed me too much.

It also takes me forever to ovulate after an IVF cycle. Like 24 days! And I can't find anything about why that is! Did they tell you?