As in, I really have to pay for all this IVF stuff.
I mean, I knew I did. I had to before. But this time, I was so focused on the nitty gritty details, like new protocols and calendars, that I kind of forgot how much this all f****** costs. Okay, I didn't really forget, but I must have put it out of my mind. At least until yesterday when I had to pull out my old meds and take inventory. I really didn't have much left. Three measly vials of Menopur and no follistm. Of course I had all the post retrieval medicine left because I never even got that far before.
I was looking at my new calendar and I noticed that they doubled my doses of stim meds from last cycle. A part of me is glad of course because I want to have more eggs than I did last time. The other part of me sat down and did the math. And the math really isn't that hard. Double the dose means double the cost. That hurts! It didn't help matters that I decided to pay all my bills on the same day. Not smart.
DH and I do okay, but the financial burden of IVF sure adds to the stress of it all. How long can a couple keep taking $15,000 hits? It weighs heavily on how far we will decide to take this whole process. I wish I could say it didn't, but it does. If it were free, I'd probably never give up until I hit menopause, but it's not, at least not under our insurance. Reality sets in and you realize you can only do so much. There are only so many times we can try.
It's not fair. Nothing about any of this is.
What I really need is one of these. . .
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11 months ago