Monday, November 24, 2008

On your mark! Get set! Go!

What a day!

It started off at 7:30 am in my RE's office for my baseline ultrasound/bloodwork. They don't open til 8:00, but I was told my doc was busy and to come at 7:30. The door was unlocked but all the lights were out and I don't think anyone was home. I called out "Hello." My voice is very small and goes nowhere so I just sat down in the dark to wait. About two minutes later a couple of nurses walked in and, surprise, my doctor was there all along. The appointment itself went quickly and I was out of there by 8:00. No cysts, so I was happy about that. He also found a few follicles (not many I think 5 or 6 total). I took my last BCP today so I am not even on cycle day one yet. I thought that seeing follicles already was a good thing. Then stupid me googles baseline u/s and antral follicle count. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! All I saw were women with multiple, multiple follicles just sitting there waiting to stim. I was getting discouraged before I even got started. I am going to try to still be happy with my measly follicle count. Why? Because last time when I was on the lupron, I am not sure I even had any (I don't know. I didn't think to ask- I didn't ask this time, he just told me) and I am not even on cycle day one yet so more can join the party (I sent them an invitation- I'm still waiting to hear back), and my ovaries looked today almost the same as they did last cycle after five days of stimming. I am trying really hard to stay positive. I. am. trying. really. hard.

At my clinic, you can see your test results online. Sometimes they show up hours before the nurse calls. Not really a good thing for a person like me. My progesterone was .4 (I was okay with that) and my E2 was <20 (that was the official number). My E2 has never been that low before, even on lupron. I again consulted Dr. Google and got myself nice and worked up.

I did have to pull myself away from the computer long enough to go to the dentist . It felt weird being in a medical office without Dr. G. and a dildo cam. Even though I've maxed out my crappy dental insurance for the year, a part of me thought I should get my scheduled cleaning done anyway "just in case" this time works. I feel like I jinx myself when I do these things. I hate not knowing how to live my life.

While I was at the dentist, Nurse B called (Nurse X is in Cancun for a week- must be nice). She said the blood work looked fine but I shouldn't just start injections on Friday like my calendar says, because I need to wait for AF to arrive and start them on CD2 (which very well could be Friday). I called her back and asked about my low E2 numbers, she said they were fine and they like to see low numbers at this point. My AF better behave and show up on time, otherwise I have to call if she doesn't arrive by Thursday. I'm not sure why I have to call. Just to check in? I'm not really clear about that. They better not decide to reschedule me if she's late! There is a short window for IVF procedures in December and I need to fit into that. I can't wait any longer.

So that is my long, boring account. Sorry if your eyes are glazing over. As you can see, I focus on every painstaking detail. It is a fault of mine. This blog could have been much shorter, but I need to get it all out. Analyze, accept, move on. It's what I do.

I just want to get farther than I did before. Wait, that's not really true. I want the whole package. I want the trigger shot, the retrieval, the fert. report, the transfer, the 2ww, the BFP, the pregnancy, the baby. It all seem so overwhelming right now. One day at a time right?

Today is done and I am still in the race.


Emily said...

Today is done and tomorrow is a new day!!!

I obsess a little myself, so I understand. Sounds like you are ready to go!

I never have a ton of antral follies either - tech usually says "oh a handful". I'm not a superstar responder, but average to low average so I think you'll be ok. It must be hard though after being cancelled last time.

Best wishes!!

PJ said...

Hey cycle sister!!!

I am all about the particulars also, and the blog is sort of a record for me, as well as a way for me to work things out in my head and move on. Besides, I like hearing your particulars!

My center doesn't even tell me E2 numbers. I think only once the doctor told me, and that was just to say that he was worried the day before because it was lower than he'd like. Sometimes they don't even tell me what the follicle sizes are. Sometimes I ask, and other times I just don't have the nerve.

I always have tons of antral follicles and still have a lot of trouble with the lead follicle issue. I also usually have more the 2nd & 3rd day of monitoring. Still, you can have lots and if they don't grow at the same rate, you're in trouble. It's a delicate thing, I guess.

But yea, having been cancelled twice myself, I know how it feels to be happy/grateful about every little step! I hear ya!

I had to do SRA training (ugh!) all day today, and tomorrow the kids get out at 11:30 and teachers get to leave shortly thereafter. So YAY!!!

Lost in Space said...

I'm beginning to think my antral follicle count has alot to do with the person making the count. I have had as low as 6 and as high as 14 and not a big difference in the outcome. My last RE always said there can be some hiding so don't give too much thought to the AFC just yet.

I think your E2 sounds great. All the clinics I have been to want to see it under 50 and mine has been pretty low too with absolutely no concern.

I am anal and love all the particulars so bring 'em on. I'll keep reading. (;

Good luck this cycle and I hope the witch shows up soon!! (Always feels weird to say that, but when we are waiting for her to start a medicated cycle it just seems appropriate). (;

G said...

Good luck with your cycle!!

I also vote YES for the particulars. I'm getting into all of this soon (although not quite soon enough for my liking!) so I love to hear what's happening with everyone else, and what bits and pieces to be on the lookout for!

Infertile Friend said...

Analyze accept and move on - great advice! Thinking about you and understanding where you are coming from totally! Good luck with AF coming soon - birth control for IVF and hoping for AF - things surely change when doing IVF!!

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel... I felt the same way when I heard that my antral follicle count was low too. Mine was a 6 during the baseline check. But during the stimming process, many many more joined the party. They ended up retrieving 18 eggs out of which 16 were mature.

Wishing you all the best!

Anonymous said...

BTW... thanks a lot for your well wishes during the last couple of days. It means a lot to us. :)