Monday, June 29, 2009

30 Weeks

Let's see. . . what's been happening?

The Sunday after my last post was Father's Day. I got up early and got DH his favorite sinful treat of donuts and coffee. (While I was there I picked up a few for myself. :) I also gave him two cards. One from our dog (I couldn't resist. It had a picture of a wiener dog that looks just like ours on the front that said, "Happy Father's Day from the one who worships the ground you walk on and tries not to pee on it."), and one from the baby and I. He also got to open a gift. It was two UCLA baby outfits (where he went to school). He was very touched that I thought of him. We spent the rest of the day on my dad's patio boat with family and some friends. It was a very nice day.

Saturday I had my second baby shower with family and friends. Everything was so well done and I got many things I needed. DH's dad bought our crib and mattress a while ago, his sister and my MIL bought our glider (and had it assembled at the shower for me to sit in), my mom got us our bedding, my brother and his fiance got us our car seat, and my friend got us the snugrider snap and go bottom to use as our stroller. So, all in all we did really well with big items. There is still a lot more to purchase so DH and I have to prioritize what we need first and just take things from there. We are still trying to clean out the guest room. We made significant progress this weekend as we hauled some old furniture to the dump, found a great deal on some bookcases I needed, and picked out paint colors. I was waiting for the bedding before I could begin. I will take pictures as soon as the big things are done and see what you ladies think. I hope it all comes out looking like it does in my head. My head is a scary place and hard to recreate in real life. :)

My grandma came down for my shower and I am going with her and my mom to see "My Sister's Keeper" and have lunch today. I've read the book and am expecting a real tear jerker. But then again, everything makes me cry these days.

Then tonight is our second of five childbirth preparation classes we signed up for. These are really not DH's favorite. He says, "Why do you have to take classes? Are they going to refuse to deliver your baby if you don't have a certificate of completion or something?" He knows it means a lot to me so he goes. Every night there is a film which I'm sure is the highlight of his evening. During the one last week I could hear him mumbling "Oh my God!" right before the birth. I found it amusing. A lot of ladies were crying but I was too busy laughing at poor DH. In my mind I've decided I will most likely get a c-section. I don't really know what's led me to believe this. I think it's because I am so petite I am afraid she won't fit through or I am convinced she'll be breech (or is it breach?), or who knows what other scenario. I think it comes from the fact that I couldn't get pregnant "naturally", so how in the world would I be able to give birth that way. I feel like these classes are the closest I'll get to a vaginal birth.

I posted a full body shot this week because just the belly looked strange. Like a gigantic blob or something. . .30 weeks!

Friday, June 19, 2009

29 Weeks

This morning I had my 29 week checkup and last appt with Dr. H. Today was her final day before her maternity leave started. She was really dragging and tired, but I was able to get some good care out of her.

Here is a rundown of my appt:

Heartbeat: 150s-160s (seems normal for her)
Fundal Height: 30 cm (one week ahead- I'm glad. I was worried she wasn't growing)
Position: Head down (for now)
Harry the Hemorrhoid: Not a hemorrhoid!

After an exam by the doctor (just what she wanted to do on her last day) it was found to be a rectal prolapse. (TMI Warning) It is where a part of your inner ass (or rectum scientifically speaking) is hanging out. This can be caused from the growing pressure of your uterus and from the weakening of the anal muscles from all the progesterone. Mine had been prolapsed for so long (a week) that it had developed ulcers and was bleeding and now has some scar tissue formed on it. Fucking lovely! The best part is, I get to try to pop it back into place every time I visit the bathroom. Oh Harry, you and I will get to know each other so well! She said eventually with consistency and time, it will stay in place on its own and should be fine after pregnancy. If someone out there is lucky enough to experience this little pregnancy gem, I hope my blog can help them feel not so alone one day. I never thought I'd get to know my asshole so well . . . Oh well, a small price to pay.

My next appt is not for another four weeks. I thought at this time you started going every two weeks. Whatever. I am doing so much at home monitoring that we can catch a problem better than going every two weeks to the doctor anyway.

I had myself really worked up for this appt and I don't know why. Every week I'm still pregnant feels like such a blessing. I can't believe how far I've come. But Wemberly is ever present and I don't know how to make her go away. I don't think she will until I am holding a healthy baby girl in my arms. And even then, who am I kidding? I hear this is where the true worry begins. I'm hoping the joys outweigh the worries. I am sure they will. I can't wait to find out. . .

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hello Third Trimester!

Hello burning, fiery, hemorrhoids from hell!

(*Warning: This post contains complaining and TMI*)

First the good news.

I've made it to the third trimester!

I'm done with work until hopefully January!

Now for the complaining part. . .

For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, you will know that I have not complained about this pregnancy. I have analyzed every symptom to see if it was normal, but I have not complained. I am still not complaining about the pregnancy. I love being pregnant. What I don't love is what showed up on my asshole this week.

I blame it on "Field Day" at work last Wednesday. I was on my feet literally the entire day until about 7 pm. I was tired, but okay. That night I noticed it was uncomfortable to sit at the dining room table for dinner. I thought, I've had an internal hemorrhoid or two before, maybe it's just a flare up. I went to bed thinking nothing of it. That night I could feel searing pain every time I flexed my poor butt muscles. You don't realize how much you do this until it hurts.

I woke up the next morning to a kidney bean sized friend hanging out of my ass. I call him friend in the loosest sense. He's really a fiery hot bastard that causes me pain at every fucking movement. I just about cried Thursday and Friday. I could find no relief unless I laid on my side and didn't move AT ALL. I tried everything, warm baths, cool compresses, tucks pads, suppositories, and finally a little relief with the cream. I say a little relief because now I could walk without waddling. Perhaps this is why some preggos waddle, their butts hurt.

From all the research I could find, there is not much more I can do. Eventually, after pregnancy, if it doesn't go away they can surgically remove it. Yikes! Looks like my friend might be here a while. In that case I've decided to name him, "Harry the Hemorrhoid." Yesterday I started to feel even more relief as he started oozing blood (I told you this was TMI). Maybe he is on the way out (for now). I think not working anymore and getting more rest will help keep him at bay.

Otherwise. . . I am feeling fine. I started testing my urine for proteins this week due to my chronic high blood pressure. I still take my BP twice a day and nurses call once a week for my readings (which so far, knock on wood, have been fine). And I started my kick count card. I hope I am doing it right. When you lay down and really concentrate on movements, you can feel all kinds of flutters and slight movements, which they say counts. I am always hesitant to record them, but in the end I do. The first night it took 40 minutes, last night it took 20 minutes. I am so glad to be done with work so I can focus on all my prenatal chores.

Belly pic time:

27 weeks

28 weeks

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Open Mouth Insert Foot or Dumb Ass Fertile Comments

This morning in the staff room one teacher was talking to another about a pair lesbian mothers that she knows who had IVF (she pronounced it "in vertro") done with one mother's egg and a sperm donor. She then went on to say something that made no sense. The embryo (she actually just called it an egg) split in two and each mother carried an identical twin and they were born five months apart. WTF? Anyway, I was keeping my mouth shut. They weren't talking to me and I was too tired to explain how they were presumably not identical (that kind of thing doesn't happen before transfer right?) and if they were born five months apart, one of the embryos must have come from a FET.

I tried to stay out of it until the coworker listening to the tale turned to me and said, "How can that be that they're five months apart?" (A rhetorical question I'm sure- This lady had no idea I did IVF) So I answered, "One was probably frozen." She then comes back with, "That's weird isn't it? It's not natural. It's sick."

Now I was going to bite my tongue because she has always been nice to me and people are so naive/ignorant to the process of IF treatments. I was doing okay (even though my tongue was bleeding) until she got to "It's sick" and then I lost it (at least on the inside). I could feel that rush of adrenaline you get when you can feel the anger coursing through your body.

I said, "What's sick?"

"The whole thing."

"You think in-vitro is sick?"

"No, no not in-vitro just the whole freezing thing." (trying very badly to back peddle)

I must have a look that spoke volumes. I can't hide any emotion on my face.

"I think the technology's amazing."

"Now I've offended you. I didn't mean to offend you. (Blah, blah, blah.)"

"You know my baby was the result of IVF."

"No I didn't know that, but I realized you must have when you reacted the way you did. I'm sorry."

I could tell she felt like shit but I didn't care. People ass-ume too much. Maybe the pregnant woman sitting next to you did go through IVF. You don't know. Even if she didn't, she might know someone who did. Think a little. And for my dumb ass coworker telling the story, get your facts straight and don't talk about things you don't know.

It was not a pleasant way to start my morning. It brought back a flood of IF memories and rude, thoughtless comments. I need to share my struggles more. I need to open my mouth more. I owe it to myself and everyone else who has struggled with IF.